Recently I picked up Treating Trauma-Related Dissociation, the clinicians’ counterpart to Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation, in reference to a video I watched by Kathy Steele, one of the authors. She describes dissociation as “a continuum of non-realization,” which I thought was an interesting framework. (As an aside, I do not agree with or condone everything written in the book.)
Steele talks about realization as being a pivotal component of the resolution of trauma, as well as the ability to integrate (an oft-hated word in the multiple community) experiences within a stable and flexible personality.
Realization is the ongoing action of being aware of reality as it is, accepting it, and then adapting to it effectively (Janet, 1935, 1945; Van der Hart et al., 2006).
I think about this quite often now. When I’m talking with clients, I’m listening for some of the elements of their lives that they are either unable or unwilling to bring to a state of realization and acceptance. This is some of the reason for the existence of inside people - at least, initially. (As always, I’m referring to trauma-based multiplicity, not endogenic). The person who is experiencing trauma initially, for a variety of possible reasons, cannot realize the truth of what’s happening to them. So they call on (/create) someone who can, and the brilliance of the human mind is its ability to manifest what is needed to survive at the time.
Non-realization is the inability to grasp essential aspects of external experience that rightly and factually belong to our past, present, and future; our self; and our inner experiences, such as thoughts, physical actions, sensations, memories, and emotions.
—Treating Trauma-Related Dissociation
Another way to see it is a lack of continuity in the ownership of one’s experiences, due to the lack of realization that an experience was theirs; it feels as if it happened to someone else. And in my experience, both personally and as a peer worker, there is a powerful resistance to the idea of sharing trauma between inside people—even when there is no longer any danger in doing so. Guardians still tend to believe it would be too much for the functioners to know or feel, so they stand between them and the emotion-holders and prevent information sharing because they believe they have to. There is a need to realize that this way of surviving isn’t necessary anymore.
The process of changing roles in the system also involves some type of new realization; realizing the old role isn’t needed anymore, or realizing that beliefs have become outdated and maladaptive, or realizing that there are other possibilities for one’s existence besides continual suffering; realizing that one has more choices and agency available to them than previously thought. Etc.
The non-realization angle has opened up a lot of different roads for me to explore with clients and even my own system.
Steele, et al writes: the division of self is a solution to unbearable and irreconcilable realities, which dovetails perfectly with the idea that so much of the need to dissociate comes from irresolvable internal conflicts. These days I spend time with clients listening for internal conflicts and how non-realization was necessary at the time, and what types of resolution and realizations might be possible today.
Cheers.
This post is helpful to me! Thanks for writing.